So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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