But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
babies were throwing up all over the place
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
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when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
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like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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