yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
