i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I currently don't understand fingers.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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