The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
