You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
