What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
