nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
