Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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