There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
