based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
