well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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