flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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