i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
