my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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