Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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