it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
