im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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