i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Randomize
