you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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