Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
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So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
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This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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