I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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