They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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