call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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