I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
