im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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