I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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