I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
