You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
