I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
