I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my being single is dangerous.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize