he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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