Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
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