is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
