That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
