their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
