hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
