When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
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We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
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She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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