Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
