Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
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Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
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I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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