White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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