Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
