You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
