He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Do you remember whose house we're in?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
