So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
