I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
