So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
