Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
