the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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