i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize