Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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