So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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