i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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