Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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