So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
