i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
