I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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