where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
